Pronouns and Getting Woke
Posted by estiator at 10 October, at 06 : 38 AM Print
MANAGING FOR SUCCESS By CONSTANTINE N. KOLITSAS Business Coach
The world is constantly changing. Whether or not it’s evolving is up for debate, but it’s definitely changing. And at a breakneck pace.
Say it’s the woke agenda, say it’s Covid-related, say it’s anything you want to call it, but along with the social changes taking place come new ways with which we need to manage employees. Particularly employees that fall into the millennial generation bucket.
For those of you with children in that age spectrum, you are intimately aware of how young adults think. I’ve got two daughters in their 20s, and I get it in bucket loads. Forget that I’m pretty progressive when it comes to social issues (I have a live-and-let-live mentality), and forget that I grew up in a diverse community where we all learned to get along despite our differences (heck, we actually celebrated those differences, attending one another’s religious, family, and community gatherings). Forget that I’ve got Black friends, gay friends, Muslim and Jewish friends. Forget that my daughters have grown up in a home that was welcoming to all of their friends; inclusive of all. For some reason, from time to time, my daughters have told me I’m racist. Really? “Don’t stress it, Dino,” an old friend with kids in the same age group as mine tells me over a couple of bourbons. “I’ve been called as much and worse by my kids.” The kicker is that he’s the diversity officer for a major city’s school system. You don’t get more non-racist and non-homophobic than this guy.
I’m relaying this here to illustrate that if you are not aware of what the woke community is propagating, then you had better learn quickly (sorry I’m not going into a sociology lesson here; you’ll need to do some googling). And I’m not condemning that community or its beliefs. I’m staying neutral. It’s just that how people in that community and people of the generation coming into the workforce interact with one another is very different than how we have interacted in the past, and understanding those interactions is going to become increasingly important for businesses as the millennial sand the generations behind them become the dominant members of the workforce. (I told you the world is changing, didn’t I?)
For a society that is increasingly sensitive to others’ feelings, we need to begin to be aware of what we say and how our words and actions can create a level of discomfort for our employees.
First of all, the notion of gender is changing. How an individual identifies trumps their biological designation. Employees are letting you know how they want to be recognized— male, female, or non-binary. Getting used to calling someone “they” is difficult for me. Not because I have a problem with someone choosing to identify as neither male nor female, but because my grammar teacher in third grade taught me that “they” and “them” is only used for more than one person. Reconciling the plural to refer to a singular sends my brain into short circuit. But that’s not an excuse. It’s a matter of minutes until a big lawsuit is initiated over improper use of a pronoun when referring to an individual who chooses to be identified unconventionally.
And we need to be increasingly sensitive (soften up, will ya?). For a society that is increasingly sensitive to others’ feelings, we need to begin to be aware of what we say and how our words and actions can create a level of discomfort for our employees. (Long gone are the days when a diner owner could pin up a note to staff berating them for not being punctual or laziness.)
I know, I know. Many of you are shaking your heads and saying that you want no part of it. Unfortunately, these changes are sociologically rooted and we can say we are going to fight against them, but it’s a losing battle. The only way forward is to adapt. Don’t shoot the messenger.
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Constantine Kolitsas is a business consultant and president of Greca Hospitality Group, the owners of Greca Mediterranean Kitchen + Bar. He can be reached at dino@grecamed.com.
