Serving with Sincerity
Posted by estiator at 16 April, at 11 : 54 AM Print
MANAGING FOR SUCCESS By CONSTANTINE N. KOLITSAS Business Coach
One thing I always teach my servers is to find the voice with which they are most comfortable and to use it with guests. The days when the quiet gentleman waiter spouting platitudes, “sirs,” and “madams” was the epitome of great restaurant service are over. It’s rare that someone wants a butler or a maid as their restaurant server. Today, the best servers are those that make customers feel as though they are valued guests in their homes. But to truly convey that feeling, the server needs to be authentic; he or she needs to find that part of their personality that wins people over, and exploit it in a way that is sincere and never forced.
The most important thing to understand is that what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. What comes naturally for one server may be out of character for another. In those cases, the result is an awkward or offensive “performance” that the customer can readily read and instantly resent. If the “performance” is fake, then everything that emanates from that performance is also fake, in the eyes of the guest. And as a customer, what is worse than the feeling that you’re being played by your server? Instead, the “performance” has to come from a place of sincerity and true interest on the part of the server. Such as these that follow:
Lisa has been a server for a few decades. She’s always dressed and made up perfectly; every hair is carefully combed in place. When she comes to your table, you get the feeling that you’ve just walked into her home’s kitchen and she’s going to put on a pot of coffee for you. She talks in quiet tones but is purposeful, knowledgeable, and caring. When she brings you your entrée, she places it on the table, steps back, and (looking at the plate) says,
“Doesn’t that look delicious?” as if it was made by her own two hands. When you leave, she says, “I’ll see you next week.” She knows when your daughter is graduating from high school and when you got a recent promotion because these things are important to you and you mentioned them during previous visits. And because they are important to you, they are important to her, or at least important enough for her to remember because she genuinely likes you and shows that when you visit.
My server Rita’s effervescence and sincere delight can pick up a customer who’s had a terrible day, so much so that one time a guest actually cried out of happiness.
Rita is in her mid-20s and is animated, upbeat, and a ball of energy. She talks a mile a minute and is on stage from the moment she walks into the restaurant until the moment she leaves. She gets her energy from other people like a solar panel gets energy from the sun. A smile and a laugh from her guests have her dancing on her toes. Compliment her and she will tell you she loves you. And she means it. Her effervescence and sincere delight can pick up a customer who’s had a terrible day in ways I’ve never otherwise seen. Once, so much so that a guest actually cried out of happiness.
Andy is a natural raconteur; he can hold a conversation with anyone from anywhere. He likes to connect with his customers by asking if they’re local. If they are, he’ll find a connection and weave in and out of a conversation through the course of your visit. It could be about the hotdog stand that was on the corner of Main and Park in the ’90s and how the lady who ran it would give you an extra spoonful of chili on your dog. If you’re from out of town, he’ll find a different thread, but with the same result—so by the time you’re gone, you will have had a nice conversation piecemealed through each of his stops at your table. When you leave, you remember Andy as much as you remember your meal.
In my restaurant, I don’t hire servers for their experience. All I need is for them to have a minimum of restaurant knowledge—how to take an order, process it into a POS system, and interact with the kitchen. When hiring servers, I am specifically looking for personality. My theory is that if I like the server, so will my restaurant’s guests. And if the reviews are right, I’ve done a pretty good job—my staff is constantly singled out as being amazing. That’s where the credit to me starts and stops. The true credit, rather, is in each of the personalities that make up my server corps, and their ability to be authentic, sincere, and enjoyable to our guests.
Constantine Kolitsas is the president of CNK Consulting, a restaurant consultant and coaching business. He can be reached at 203-947-6234 or at ckolitsas@gmail.com.
